I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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