Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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