Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
