You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My ATM looks so different sober.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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