therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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