hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
