so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
