Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
