Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
