i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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