He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
