sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
