I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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