can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
