the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
