If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
