Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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