around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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