you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
the day after is always just damage control
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
