Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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