I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
