He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize