She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
