I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
