I want to have your abortion
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
