I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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