she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
