I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
