you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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