I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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