I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
