I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
