I want to make a zoo with you.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
