Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
