on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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