you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
should my penis look like a turkey
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
