Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
