I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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