I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
