my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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