I've blown a few things in my day
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I would fuck him just for his dog
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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