I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
