need another drink. this is the easiest way
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
