Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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