I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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