i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
