Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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