i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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