I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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