I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
