I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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