you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
