Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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