8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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