She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He shit in the fireplace
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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