for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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