And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
