just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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