whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
