so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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