1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Im part way to drunk.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
