You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
