My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So much rum. So many feels.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
