Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
