What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm passing your future prison.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
