Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
