just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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