I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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